Demons. Jocks. Pirates.

Jacob. Zombies. Lunch.

Metrosexuals. Terrans. Youth group. Fixed-interest mortgage payments. The old orc and the sea.

Indy. Alcoholics. Parties. Christmas. Chocobo. Lovecraft. Hippie minotaurs. Pandas. Smaug. Royalty. Rasta. Religion. Psychotropic mushrooms. Overdose.

Gandalf. Sea World. Luigi's Mansion. Hobbits. Science. Vikings. Goth chicks. Sweet rides.

A whole new world. Egyptian riots. All-crustacean bands. Neptune. Quartz. Aliens. Eight-legged freaks.

Pure, unadulterated ROCK.

...fun?

Blizzard's vice president of Creative Development, Chris Metzen - self portrait.

Love it or hate it, World of Warcraft is a cash cow that has produced Activision Blizzard an ocean of milk for their CEOs to skinny dip in, after indulging in women, fancy drinks, and large money bags filled to the brim with diamonds and cocaine. For over five years, it has successfully sold millions of players an alternative to the real world and its problems.

But after half a decade, is the series still any good?

A few months ago, Blizzard released Cataclysm, an expansion that they hoped would answer that question with a resounding "yes". But did it?

No. At least, not completely.

Though it does many things right, Cataclysm's brief endgame solo content - a mere five zones - never gives its antagonist the character development he needs. This drought of character tarnishes an otherwise rich experience, making it less fulfilling than its predecessor, Wrath of the Lich King.

Music.

The most welcome improvement has to be Cataclysm's makeover of ancient vanilla zones, which hit Azeroth in a pre-release patch dubbed The Shattering. By updating level 1-60 areas with an arsenal of new quests, cinematic cutscenes, visual aesthetics, and sounds, The Shattering has, in effect, created a brand new World of Warcraft to explore.

Southshore, what have they done to you?!?!

If you've played through Warcraft at any point in the last five years, you'll love The Shattering. Everything you remember is different, but in a good way. Instead of mindlessly killing orcs to turn in a basic quest, your Alliance hero smears fox droppings on his or her face and sneaks into the Dragonmaw Clan's Lakeshire headquarters alongside the grizzled Bravo Company, led by third war veteran John J. Keeshan.

Do you remember the PVP battles the Horde and Alliance used to have in Hillsbrad Foothills? No longer. The Forsaken have overrun Southshore and claimed Hillsbrad completely for the Horde.

How many times did you avoid levelling through Stonetalon Mountains because it annoyingly boasted only one or maybe two flight paths? Now each faction has over five, dotting a large-scale battle stretching from border to border.

So Tanaris is flooding, and you're the goblin in charge. What's your obvious course of action? Moses up an ark.

The Shattering has made huge, noticeable improvements on every facet of level 1-60 play.

Playing The Shattering is like going back to your high school reunion. You know your old friends by name, but they're... different to how you remember. More mature somehow, or just more interesting. You suddenly feel like talking to the guy who chugged a gallon of mayonnaise for a five dollar bet when you were sophomores, because times have passed and he's contracted to build wells in Mongolia now. There are myriad hours to be spent rediscovering each zone that you came to know, love, or despise back when your first character apprehensively wandered the hills, valleys, and deserts of Azeroth.

Another area in which Cataclysm excels is music. It boasts quite possibly the most beautiful video game score I have ever heard.

Play it again, Russ.

Themes for the immortal, stalwart Night Elves, the proud, traditional Ironforge Dwarves, or the sombre but selflessly noble Tauren expertly convey the history and culture of each group, helping the player understand why they should care about every faction in the game.

Exotic. Dangerous. Ferocious. Piratey. Cataclysm's musical score tells the story of Azeroth. It will take you on many adventures without ever loading up a screen.

Another positive is Cataclysm's new secondary profession, archaeology, if for no reason other than the fact that it gives us yet another chance to fulfil our fantasy of becoming Indiana Jones. Though it can get ridiculously tedious near the end of the game, archaeology provides yet another terrific way for players to wrap themselves up in the warm tapestry of Warcraftian lore.

Archaeology. It turns you into a Naga and builds you tiny gnomes.

Every item you dig up, from a lavish ancient drinking stein to a tattered voodoo doll, tells you something interesting about Azeroth and its denizens. Even the most worthless items uncovered are priceless. Rare items, however, are especially awesome. Some of my favourites include a wolf mask, velociraptor-skeleton mounts, a whispering box that will keep you up at night, soothing wind chimes, and an enchanted, disembodied hand.

Great as archaeology is, it suffers from the pervasive illness infecting every aspect of MMORPGs: the grind. Unless you're a glutton for pain and suffering, never, ever go hunting for this.

Terrific as The Shattering, archaeology, and Cataclysm's musical score are, all is not sexy new zones and fossil mounts in Azeroth.

Music.

Blizzard did a lot right with Cataclysm, but before you go rushing out to Wal-Mart's electronics section with the last fifty dollars you had been saving for Grandma's back surgery clenched between eager fists, let's look at its problems. Here are two:


a) Endgame zones feel small, insignificant and disconnected.

b) I hate Deathwing, but not in the same way that I hated Arthas.


Allow me to elaborate.

Thirty-six hours on repeat and it still hasn't gotten old.

Don't let Nazi references and riding seahorses fool you: there's something rotten in Cataclysm's endgame zones.

Each boasts a strikingly unique, graphically gorgeous setting, numerous quirky cinematics, and myriad celebrity cameos from Azeroth's rich and famous. Taken on their own, these stages are some of the best ever designed for an MMORPG (Twilight Highlands especially). What weakens them is the feeling that the actions you take up in one area don't particularly effect what happens in another.

Discovering the Naga are plotting to usurp Neptulon is seven plot degrees away from freeing ancient forest spirits on Mount Hyjal, which is only minorly related to Deathwing's alliance with the Neferset Tol'vir in Uldum. There's no consistency. It's like watching five completely unrelated (but excellent) movies made in different countries, under different genres, with different directors, and then selling them in a set.

You'd think the Tol'vir (cat-people) would be warier of the Worgen (dog-men).

Zone plots seem much more distantly connected than in, say, Wrath of the Lich King, where the entire continent of Northrend felt intimately involved with the march on Icecrown Citadel, to challenge one of gaming's all time greatest villains: Arthas.

...which brings us to the inevitable comparison between Arthas and Deathwing.

There's an easy verdict here. Arthas is much easier to hate than Deathwing. He's just a better villain.

Why? Character development.

In Warcraft III and its expansion, players follow the pubescent prince's journey from young, idealistic paladin into unholy Lich King of the Scourge. It isn't a pretty sight. Only after slaying his father and mentor, mercilessly slaughtering and resurrecting his citizens as horde of ravenous undead, and finally leaving a barren trail of putrid blight in his wake is Arthas transformed into a full-fledged Death Knight.

This man will kill you, then resurrect you as a zombie, then make you eat your loved ones, then kill you again. And then have lunch.

Everything action you lead Arthas through is a sin committed in cold blood. By the time you finish his campaigns, you know and respect him as a powerful, believable villain.

Deathwing's story invokes similar themes of betrayal, murder, and a fall from grace into darkness, but it gives them a great deal less attention. Besides burning Stormwind to the ground and fleeing into Outland, Deathwing is a side character in a Shakespearean saga. He's obviously strong-willed and incredibly powerful, but so are all the other cast members around him. Deathwing receives half as much attention as, say, Ner'zul, the orcish warlock who eventually becomes the Lich King and fuses his soul with Arthas.

Deathwing has nothing but good potential as a legendary villain. He deserves the non-stop character development given to Arthas in Wrath of the Lich King, but receives next to no attention in any of his games. If the World-Ender's Cataclysm coming-out party was meant to make me hate him, then it failed miserably: I don't want to kill Deathwing for giving Azeroth a brand-new makeover of quests, aesthetics, and storylines to play through repeatedly... I want to hunt him down. And thank him. With chocolates.

If you find it hard to believe that Arthas gets more focus than Deathwing in their specific games, just go to WoWWiki's entry for Warcraft II, then do a word search for 'Deathwing'. Not one mention. Now check Warcraft III and do the same for 'Arthas'. The man gets nine.

Deathwing had nowhere near the character development necessary to make him the central villain of an expansion with only five endgame levels to introduce players to him. He's a rookie quarterback, thrown into the big game. He's neutral Belgium, tossed in front of Germany, circa 1914. He is not prepared.

Go ahead and TRY to find better graphics.

Both the disconnection between level 80-85 zones and the drought of character development given to Deathwing could have been fixed had Cataclysm featured ten endgame levels. By cramming a supposedly epic tale into a space half its usual size, Blizzard gave itself no opportunity to introduce gamers to Deathwing, their central antagonist. Without a clear villain to aspire towards slaying, an MMORPG like Warcraft seems shallow and purposeless. Why raid if I don't believe in the cause for which my character is fighting?

Cataclysm brought a lot of good to the table, and Blizzard should be applauded for everything it did right. Fantastic level 1-60 zones, a truly outstanding soundtrack, and a reliably fun secondary profession in archaeology are all feathers that Blizzard should wear proudly in its cap. That said, the limited endgame of Cataclysm is a large and unsightly blemish on what could have been yet another masterpiece.

I entreat you Blizzard, gentleman to gentlemen.

With twelve million active subscribers still roaming Azeroth, Blizzard is bound to make another expansion in the near future. Here's hoping that it learns from Cataclysm's mistakes by delivering a full ten endgame zones, which would give players a stronger, more complete picture of its antagonist than was painted for Deathwing.

I'll end this article with a plea to Blizzard directly:

You don't need to make Wrath of the Lich King again. Just offer enough character development and story to make players care about why they're grinding through digital dungeons night after night, perpetually gearing up in a heroic effort to reach an intangible goal in an imagined world. Just use a full ten levels to sculpt a villain we actually care to defeat.

That, or toss playable pandaren out there. Either works.

8/10 [?]

Labels: 2011, Cataclysm, Greg Mengel, Review, World of Warcraft, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

Alright, so it’s apparent that I’ve jumped back into the constricting grasp of World of Warcraft. After tearing through the starting zones, flipping over Azshara and decimating the refined instances available, it’s safe to say that I’m having a great time. At the accelerated rate of my progression, though, it seemed my stay in the new Azeroth would end sooner rather than later.

At this point, relaying information about how each zone is drastically different is moribund. The Stonetalon Mountains, Thousand Needles, Tanaris - even that atrocious zone known as Desolace - are all bearable and actually fun. I love how the environments are varied and how the quest design has gone through a monumental overhaul, but the problem is that you’ll never get to experience the zones in their entirety.

This article is the third entry in my Adventures in Cataclysm series. If only to help get a grasp of this article, grab the first and second articles in the series to brush up on my travels!

Allow me to explain. In my last article I addressed my concern with returning to zones like Azshara with only green quests to hand in. Unless you completely skip out on the instances, and also decide to forgo a couple of professions, it’s terribly difficult to see a zone all the way through. It can also get much worse at later levels.


Increased experience gain is definitely one of the things to blame for fast progression, but it isn't necessarily a bad thing. If your only concern is to get maxed out in order to raid with your buddies, then everything I’ve complained about will have no adverse effect on you. However, if you’re like me and enjoy going through the motions of a game, exploring new content and seeing where the quest lines end, then you'll be baffled by Blizzard’s design decision. Why create all this brand new content, and then let it remain undiscovered? The only ways to salvage all this otherwise-lost content are to either not care about handing in grey quests for nil experience, or to constantly create new characters and hit new places to level up. Unless Warcraft is the only game you play, you aren’t going to do either.

Before I knew what had happened, a flashing 'Level 58' crossed my screen and I received a quest for my triumphant return to Satan’s Alley (aka the Burning Crusade). I wasn’t ready to go. Looking over the map, I hadn’t even explored half of Kalimdor and I had skipped intense areas of yore such as the Burning Steppes, Un’Goro Crater and the Plaguelands. There was still so much to see and experience. Nonetheless, I had to make my way to the Dark Portal. Upon seeing its eerie, irregular form coruscating with otherworldly power in the distance, I knew after entering my adventures were to change considerably.


After just slamming the fast progression and increased experience of the new Azeroth, I’m about to contradict my previous statements by thanking Blizzard: the Burning Crusade sucks. At the very least, the increased progression will help you power your way through this hell-hole. I’ll be fair though; if you’ve never gone through the Burning Crusade before, then you’ll have some interesting features to look forward to. Seeing the Fel Reavers stomp around in the greater distance of Hellfire Peninsula’s destroyed beauty is impressive and something the old world lacked. Ravaged skies, new monster models and imposing figures adorn Outland in its entirety. However, if you've been here before, there’s nothing much to look forward to.

It may seem arbitrary to bash Outland in such manner, but if think so, you've clearly not been through it a second or maybe even a third time. The worst part about Outland is that once you get there, it’s literally a step backwards from all the refinement you encountered in the new Azeroth. Quests can take forever, especially when you have to pick up some twenty-or-so feathers littering the landscape. You also have to quest through a greater portion of the zone in order to find quests that will take you to an instance; quest-givers will no longer be waiting at the start of a dungeon. Without the quests readily available and the increased experience available to everyone, it’s better to just quest than even think about entering an instance.


Something else that really bothers me is the absence of portals. I didn’t realise until now that there’s no easy way to get back to a major city like Orgrimmar. Instead of just catching a local windrider over to Shattrath (by the way, it’s a complete ghost town) which harboured a portal to every major city, you now have to find a mage to create a portal for you. Shattrath has a couple of portals but you can’t use them until you’re a higher level. I don't see the point in disabling easy ways to get around this gigantic world; the last thing I want to do is re-enter the Dark Portal and fly somewhere in order to get where I need to be. This wastes time and stretches your patience to its limit. Overall, it was a poor, poor design choice by Blizzard.

Thankfully, Outland hasn’t lasted very long. Once I finished Hellfire I went straight into Nagrand, the Stranglethorn Vale of Outland, to speed my way into Wrath of the Lich King. Whilst I did end up having to repeat some quests in Shadowmoon Valley, before I knew it Howling Fjord was calling. Without hesitation, I picked up my trinkets and flew as fast as possible to the icy land of Northrend. Surely it had to be a better experience than what I endured in Outland?

Labels: 2011, Activision Blizzard, Adventures in Cataclysm, Andrew Whipple III, Cataclysm, PC, World of Warcraft, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

2010: you were a jackass. Let's go over what the last year of days brought to the table:

- A papier-mâché worldwide economy
- The BP oil spill
- Bluetooth popularity
- The Last Airbender, Sex and the City 2, Jonah Hex
- More terrorism
- Justin Bieber's autobiography
- Final Fantasy XIV
- The Denver Broncos record
- Your peacock...cock..........cock
- No 'first contact'
- No zombies
- No fun

Yep, 2010 took in all our hopes and dreams, absorbed their precious nutrients, and laid an egg of sadness. I thought 2009 was bad, but then the next year burst in like a tornado of suck, demolishing all hopes of a better and brighter year. Thanks, buddy. Thanks a lot.

With so much to not be thankful for, it's good that we were offered such a wide array of quality games into which we could escape when things outside were ugly. Here are my five best digital alternatives to heroin presented in 2010.

5: Starcraft II

I'm torn here. On one hand, this game was terrific. The gameplay was great, the graphics made my computer wheeze with happy asthma, and Battle.net's sexy new makeover made it the prettiest girl at the prom. Everything was great in Starcraft town.

...except that its story was shorter than Daniel Radcliffe's post-Harry Potter career.

When I play a Starcraft, I want three chapters - one for each race - so that I can have a full dose of story. With more than just a Terran chapter, Starcraft II would be better ranked on this list.

4: Civilization V

Anyone who doubts that absolute power is addicting should watch a non-gamer sit down at a computer and play Civilization V for twelve hours straight. This game has a way with people... and that way involves gluing people to a computer screen for unhealthy hours without end despite the desperate pleas of their forgotten families.

Lost friends and loved ones aside, Civilization V was a perfect upgrade to the classic series. Less military units, a historically understandable social upgrade system, and shiny new graphics improved everything smoothly and effectively (except for maybe the AI). There are hundreds of strategies you can use to win, from combining a race with a certain social upgrade, to obsessively courting lesser city states or mixing science and diplomacy in order to keep large, militaristic opponents at bay.

Keep doing what you do, Sid.

3: World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

What to say about Warcraft that hasn't been said a thousand thousand times... In every possible way, shape, and form, this game has been done to death. So why was Cataclysm better than Civilization or Starcraft II? Because after sporadically returning to Warcraft for over five years, I'm still not bored. Cataclysm's new low-level zones and dedication to story have kept it sexy through a long and often arduous marriage, causing me to come back to it despite numerous shallow affairs (City of Heroes, Champions Online, Star Trek Online, et cetera). Cataclysm is the latest outfit in a series of spicy, exciting costumes which WoW has donned in order to hold the attention of millions.

2: Heavy Rain

The best parenting game since Octodad.

Anyone who has skim-read two sentences of any of my articles knows that the value I place on a game's story is paramount. You can make the best damn game design in the history of time, but if it doesn't make me laugh, cry, or have an asthma attack in anticipation, then I couldn't care less. Games need to make me feel, or they're not worth my time.

Heavy Rain had more feelings than a pregnant woman watching Fried Green Tomatoes in a Ben and Jerry's factory. It takes modern game design, mates it with Choose Your Own Adventure novels, and makes something great.

If you fundamentally don't want to play a game that doesn't involve killing twelve-thousand Space Nazis with a spoon before ripping off your shirt and yelling your own name (in my own special way, I just attempted to describe Call of Duty), then avoid playing Heavy Rain tonight. You probably have a Klan meeting to attend anyway.

Otherwise, though, you have no excuse.

1: Red Dead Redemption

Without question the greatest game released in the last three or four years. You may disagree, saying that Red Dead is boring, overly violent; a juvenile portrayal of the American West. That's fine. Though I disagree with what you say, I'll fight to the death for your right to say it. But as I lay my head on the block for your inherent natural rights, my last words will follow thusly:

"You. Are. Wrong."

Red Dead Redemption brings all the ingredients of an amazing, memorable game to the table: great gameplay, a powerful emotive soundtrack, badass, well-developed characters, terrific voice acting, competitive online play, a treasure chest of endgame secrets, downloadable content, and endless replayability. But what does Red Dead Redemption do best? What is the aspect of it that makes it one of the greatest games of all time?

It creates a world.

Hundreds of game journalists have done reviews on Red Dead Redemption, and they all cite the feeling they experience while playing: the exhilaration that only comes when a person immerses themselves fully in a setting that is not their own.

"With Red Dead Redemption, Rockstar succeeds in creating one of the most impressive open worlds I've ever seen in a game, and it's telling that — even after playing for over 30 hours — all I want to do is get back on my horse and gallop back into the wilderness."
- Will Tuttle, GameSpy

"Red Dead Redemption is a must-play game. Rockstar has taken the Western to new heights and created one of the deepest, most fun, and most gorgeous games around. You can expect the occasional bug or visual hiccup, but you can also expect a fantastic game that offers the Western experience we've all been waiting for."
- Erik Brudvig, IGN

"The leading edge of interactive media has a new face. [...] In the more than 1,100 articles I have written for this newspaper since 1996, I have never before called anything a tour de force. Yet there is no more succinct and appropriate way to describe Red Dead Redemption."
- Seth Schiesel, New York Times

My critic colleagues and I agree: Red Dead Redemption is one of the best games ever made.

Labels: 2011, Cataclysm, Civilization, Civilization 5, Games of 2010, Greg Mengel, Heavy Rain, Red Dead Redemption, Starcraft II, World of Warcraft, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

The Tauren starting zone of Mulgore is finished. While it was a fun experience and many of the changes were incredibly positive, it’s time to move onto the first real zone of Cataclysm. Will it be the newly conceived northern half of the Barrens, or perhaps the shores of the goblin infested Azshara?

Into the Fold...

(In case you missed it, you'd do well to read part one of my in depth experience with Cataclysm before venturing forth!)

Being the Warcraft veteran that I am, I really wanted to see the new Barrens since I had spent so much time in its vacant confines. However, I was strangely compelled to visit Azshara, a zone I loathed back in the old world. I figured that if Blizzard really put the chisel to the world, Azshara would be a great testing ground for my criticism. So off we go!

Er... about getting to Azshara. How the hell do you?

You enter Azshara from the back of Orgrimmar. Yep, you heard me right. In the old world, the only way you could get there was by crossing a bridge from Ashenvale, which was the closest point to Orgrimmar. Whilst you can still enter that way, it's likely that you’ll just die at the hands of malicious elves, and nobody wants that.

And Orgrimmar isn’t even recognisable anymore. Construction machines and new additions to the Orc capital are found everywhere. There are mailboxes next to every major building, multiple auction houses, and several towers that take you up to the wind rider master. Thunder Bluff also shared copious amounts of mailboxes and multiple auctioneers, but as far as remodeling goes Orgrimmar absolutely demolishes it.

Now, where was I?


Ah yes, Azshara. If you’ve played Warcraft before, take what you know of the zone and erase it. Azshara resembles nothing of its past glory, and it’s all the better for it. The very first quests in the zone throw you into a goblin-shredder that allows you to cut down trees, elves and ancient spirits. As an introduction to a zone, you don’t get more badass than that. There’s also a massive race track that encircles the zone, and at any time you can walk up to a hub on the track and request a rocket from the benevolent goblin engineers. Since you don’t have your mount until level 20, these rockets provide a fast way to travel across the zone.

While I was enjoying myself with the brand new Azshara, I started to feel the pull of the instances. Luckily, as soon as this feeling hit I had achieved level 15. This is important because, after levelling, the game acknowledged my feat by bestowing upon me the greatest invention Blizzard has ever created: the Dungeon Finder. This nifty contraption pools together like-minded players who are looking to clear the same dungeon but aren’t on the same server. Remember waiting for hours to get into an instance and always spamming something like “LFG STRAT 60 Rogue?” Those days are completely gone. You even receive a bonus to your statistics for the duration of the instance if you find a group with the Dungeon Finder. It’s pretty awesome.

About the instances; some have been overhauled but the rest remain largely unchanged. Ragefire Chasm, the Horde’s first instance, hasn’t seen any change while the Deadmines are all brand-spankin' new. Although, you will notice that all quests relevant to the instance you’re in will be found at the beginning of the dungeon. Rejoice; no more running across the world and wasting time! You can also press the “M” key at anytime to see a map with all the locations of the dungeon’s bosses. This helps immensely, especially when you’re unfamiliar with a particular instance.


After exiting each instance I always had a handful of quests to turn in and I’d almost always level at least once. Before I knew it, I was back in Azshara handing in green quests because I leveled so much from each instance. I should also note that with certain professions you gain experience when you harvest materials. That means anytime you pick some flowers or mine for gold you’re getting additional experience. It’s not a bad thing, but it does have me a bit concerned that I’ll be of too high a level to finish the zone since I'm a jewelcrafter (and mining is a necessity!). The last thing I want is to be handing in grey quests for no reason.

Unfortunately, upon returning from my instance binge my fears were realised. The quests in my possession were practically all green or grey. I wouldn’t get to finish Azshara after all, but I had to press on to see where this particular chain I was working on took me. I’m glad I did. Turns out, the chain was part of Archmage Xylem’s specialty quests which, as of now, are the best quests I’ve completed. Not only did I have to dodge projectiles that would fling me off the mountain, but upon reaching the summit Xylem tasked me with a series of trials. These puzzle-like quests had you do certain things like dodging fire or moving in special patterns. It’s the most unique form of questing I’ve seen in this game yet. And yes, there are achievements for these things too.

Final Thoughts:

Azshara is a pretty awesome-looking zone and I adore the changes Blizzard has brought forth. While I missed out on actually finishing the whole area, quests like Xylem's made my experience more unique and fun. Even more than that, the Dungeon Finder is something I've been waiting on for a long time. I love being able to do my standard play while waiting for a group to come together. This tool has single-handedly made the game more manageable and efficient.

That, and Orgrimmar is badass.

Labels: 2011, Activision Blizzard, Adventures in Cataclysm, Andrew Whipple III, Blizzard, Cataclysm, Feature, MMORPG, PC, World of Warcraft, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

Since the dawn of time, man has asked himself many fundamental questions. Do humans define morality, or has the universe been ingrained with an underlying 'ultimate good?' Is it possible to bend or break the fabric of space and time- in a DeLorean? Could it be, that in a cosmos filled with billions of billions of planets, stretching myriad millions of light-years in all directions, soaring far beyond the scope of human imagination, that an omnipotent, celestial creator founded our miniscule, fragile race in his own image, out of a desire to manifest in each and every one of us the chemical reaction known as love?

There is perhaps one question, one great enigma, that towers loftily above all the rest, puzzling scientists, philosophers, and theologists for centuries without end...

Which is more awesome: a tiny, green, hyper-capitalistic New Jersey hobbit, or a furry, perpetually shirtless, ferocious half-man with a mind like a human, but a form like a wolf ^[1]?

That argument will be decided, once and for all, on this cold January day, thanks to computers, over twenty (wasted?) hours of game time, and the starting zones of the worgen and goblins as found in the World of Warcraft. It'll be a good, old fashioned time.

Let's begin.

The Goblins

First, let's take a look at the goblins. Cue theme music.


You start your character at the height of his career, mere hours from his or her promotion to the coveted position of Trade Prince. Titles that describe you may include Sultan of Silver, Rex of Rupees, Luchadore of Labour Union Beatdowns.


If money is power, then hail to the king, baby. Your economic reach in the Bilgewater Cartel makes the Trump Empire look like a neighbourhood lemonade stand. On your island home of Kezan, there isn't a goblin alive with your celebrity, charisma or sway. Trade Prince Gallywix may think he's got more of the stuff than you, but he's a fossilised has-been. You're the future of this company, and every goblin knows it. There couldn't possibly be a single being alive who could crash your sweet, sweet gravy train, surely?


... except maybe Deathwing.

When that dragon shows up, he changes things, breathing life into the volcano perched threateningly above your island paradise with a blaze. Mere minutes before your promotion to Trade Prince, you lose everything you've ever held dear - that is, your fortune - paid in exchange for safe passage from incineration on Trade Prince Gallywix's private yacht. You experience all that a goblin prays he'll never experience, and set off from your smoldering island a penniless slave.



Luckily for you, the Alliance blasts a hole in Gallywix's pleasure schooner, determined to prevent any witnesses from seeing them flatten a horde armada and steal it's precious, special cargo. Though many goblins die, you somehow manage to stay alive, thanks to a pair of goblin jumper cables and a doctor with astronomical resuscitation fees.


Waking up somewhere on the fabled Lost Isles, you quickly realise that every living thing on that island hates goblins. Raptors, pygmies, naga; they're all racists bent on destroying your kind. With sword/staff/boomstick in hand, you undertake an action few goblins resort to: you put on your war pants and fight.

Without explaining the entire remaining plot, I'll simply say that your character proves his worth as the hero of the Bilgewater Cartel repeatedly on those tropical deathtraps. First, you safeguard your people from raptors, monkeys, and cannibal pygmy-zombies by killing their giant fire-tortoise god, shooting it with a bazooka in the face. Then, you find strong allies for your goblinfolk in the Horde. Finally, you rescue the secret that was captured by the Alliance: a captive Warchief by the name of Thrall.


You may have heard of him.


Everything you do in the goblin starting zone is exciting, fun, and just damned epic. It's quirky and ridiculous, but in a good way. Quests like driving your hot rod around Kezan to pick up your entourage, or putting down zombified goblin compatriots by hovering over them with flaming jet boots, are unforgettable.


The goblin starting zone is, without a doubt, the best starting zone in the game. It is also, without a doubt, better than the starting zone for worgen.

...but what about those worgen, say you? Did Blizzard leave them any love? Why choose a wolf-man if the goblins clearly have a better starting zone?

It's because the worgen don't climax early ^[2]. Read on and I'll explain.

The Worgen

Cue theme music two.

The starting zone for Gilneas is less cheery than the goblins'. Your people, a proud nation of human isolationists led by the stoic King Greymane, grew fed up with fighting far-off battles during the second war. Withdrawing from their pact with Stormwind and Lordaeron, they built a wall around their gothic Victorian kingdom and abandoned the Alliance, successfully turning inward, as orcs, humans and even Arthas and the undead Scourge wrought myriad suffering outside their massive gates.


Imagine Switzerland, only instead of chocolate and watches, think top hats, elitist Oxford accents and rustic 18th century suits.

Safe though they were from forces outside, King Greymane and the citizens of Gilneas never bothered to check for monsters under their own bed. Unbeknownst to them, feral worgen summoned by the Scourge wizard Arugal in nearby Shadowfang Keep somehow infiltrated their 'impenetrable' Greymane Wall and roamed free inside Gilneas. Slowly but surely the rogue monsters spread their unholy infection to unsuspecting woodsman until their numbers swelled.

Suddenly, after years of peace, a veritable army of transformed Gilnean worgen assault the city of Gilneas itself during a dark night storm. Cornered and horribly outnumbered, the human Gilneans - led by their prince, Liam Greymane - fight bitterly against the encroaching worgen on rainy street corners, knowing full well that they wage a war not only for their city, but for their unafflicted human souls.


In comes your character, a young Gilnean eager to defend your homeland from the nightmare now assailing it. You aid Prince Liam in a vicious counterattack, beating back the worgen with the ferocity of the beasts themselves. By enlisting the help of Crowley, an imprisoned rebel with underground ties outside of the city, you bait the worgen into a trap, luring them into the range of rebel cannons and slaughtering them in great droves outside the city cathedral.


Unfortunately, you are bitten in the process, and your body gives way to the horrible change just as the battle reaches its hottest.



Suddenly you feel different... Your ears seem flea-ridden, a well thrown ball or stick is all it takes to throw your attention span wildly off course, and try as you might, you just can't stop thinking about bacon. You, my friend, have become a worgen.


Now that you've become both man and his best friend, you're ready to continue protecting your city, family, and friends. Unfortunately for you, Lord Godfrey, a Gilnean noble who visits you in your cage once you've transformed, is a big-time worgen racist. The man does not like wolf-men. He and Professor Lupin don't go out for drinks. So when the Cataclysm sends a wall-shattering earthquake ripping through the Greymane Wall, he vehemently disapproves of King Greymane's decision to dope your hulking, furry frame up with a miraculous keep-your-mind-human-though-your-body-is-worgen wonder drug and send you charging to the front so that you can try your fangs out on an enemy famished for fresh Gilnean blood: the undead Forsaken.


Led by the Dark Ranger Sylvanas herself the undead storm Gilneas, taking the city and putting its remaining citizens to the sword. Alive but on the run, King Greymane and the surviving Gilneans rally outside the city, using trickerous guerrilla tactics to keep the Dark Lady well at bay. Meanwhile, the Cataclysm wreaks even more havoc on your homeland - unleashing torrential floods that cause the nearby ocean to overflow well over the razor keen coral reefs which harass outside forces attempting to reach Gilneas by sea.


With their passage ublocked, night elf druids arrive in secret, bringing word that the undead in the area have found an invaluable relic: the Scythe of Elune. Kill a few guards, deliver the Scythe to the night elves, partake in an ancient night elf ritual, and bam! Your worgen can now control his feral tendencies. Also, it turns out both Crowley and your brave and fearless King Greymane are themselves worgen. It's one big, furry family.


I'll skim over what happens next. First, Godfrey plots to kill everyone alive who's somewhat likable. You foil his plan, cursing his sudden but inevitable betrayal. Then, you retake the city in an epic battle, sadly losing your fearless captain Liam Greyman in the process. While playing ninja and listening to a secret conversation, you discover Sylvanas wants to unleash a plague to wipe out every Gilnean left alive after the battle. A somber Greymane decides to retreat to lesser territory that's not about to be ravaged with glow-in-the-dark-neon liquid plague, and your remaining Gilneans push past orcish and undead forces to night elf ships, which whisk you safely to Darnassus.


The end.

.........................or is it?

After playing both races, this is why I ended up enjoying the worgen more than the goblins. While the goblins have the best starting zone in Warcraft, their story climaxes at level 13. You fight off the Alliance, you save Thrall, you slap around Gallywix, and you are proclaimed the most amazing goblin ever to grace the employee records of your people. It climaxes too early for me to care about leveling up to 85. Why should I? Besides perhaps slaying Deathwing, this character has done all that he needs to do - his story is over.

The worgen, meanwhile, are nowhere near finished with their saga. These people - the survivors of Gilneas - have a definite score to settle. The undead take their lands, conscript their fallen brethren into undeath, ravage their farms and homes with plague, and set up camp. They don't leave. I can't imagine a worse situation for a citizen of Gilneas. I can tell you right now, if undead forces suddenly raided Denver, Colorado, eating my loved ones before my eyes, infecting them with vapourous insta-cancer, and resurrecting them as bitter, love-hating zombies, I'd be grabbing my boomstick and preparing for a long war.

The worgen story is not over. It's far from climaxing. And it's ten times more interesting than a goblin story that ends at chapter one.

So if you're looking at starting zones alone? The goblins win more 'awesome points', hands down. But if you're reading the entire novel? The worgen have a better - or at least a longer - story to tell.

Greg out.

Footnotes

[1] The latter being reminiscent of dear Uncle Steve, the unshowered, unshaved PTSD victim who concludes that every bad occasion, from 9/11 to spilling paint in the garage, is the result of "that ass-backwards leadership in Vietnam."

[2] That is, in fact, what she said.

Labels: 2011, Cataclysm, Feature, Greg Mengel, MMORPG, PC, World of Warcraft, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

There comes a time in every gamer’s life where he or she quits a title they’ve amassed untold hours playing. It's usually an MMO. However, since so much was committed to that single, solitary game, saying goodbye forever becomes harder and harder as time progresses. During your absence, new content finds its way into the mix, expansions hit the scene, changes to the aspects of the game you hated finally come through, and perhaps more friends jump in. Slowly, you begin to reconsider your choice, or maybe curiosity gets the better of you. Whatever the case, you begin to explore your route back into that all-too-familiar world. That time has come around for me, and I find myself considering revisiting the unbelievably-populated, money-making world of Azeroth in all its sundered glory.

Cataclysm is a big deal. At least, it is to the legions of people who have been playing World of Warcraft since its launch in 2004. Personally, I couldn’t have cared less. Having played World of Warcraft through its launch, its first expansion - The Burning Crusade - and most of Wrath of the Lich King, there didn’t seem to be enough substance left to sustain someone who had undoubtedly burnt himself out on Blizzard’s baby. Raiding took far too much time and effort for what I received, it was impossible to level another character without drifting off into inadvertent sleep and I was sick of dealing with some of the class-balancing issues. The only thing holding me back from quitting was the good chunk of my friends who still primarily played the game. Still, it wasn’t long before I packed it in, gave my account to a friend, and moved onto my wall of neglected, dusty games.

As you can imagine, this didn’t last as long as I’d envisioned. Whether you like it or not, Blizzard has a knack for catching former players’ eyes, and they certainly hooked me. Hearing about all the augmentations to classes, talents, and the coup de grâce of revamping the entirety of the old world, I was back in. What I didn’t know, though, was that since I’d been away for so long and with all the insurmountable changes to the game, I’d basically have to relearn everything. So if you play World of Warcraft, are thinking of jumping into Azeroth, or are simply a sucker for anything Warcraft, this series of articles should educate you on the brand new Cataclysm content with my unadulterated professional opinion. Just think, as an added bonus you get exclusive access to the (mis)adventures of a GGTL editor and former Warcraft addict. Amazing stuff.

Day 1: The Login

After purchasing every one of the WoW expansions and the original game (including Cataclysm) for the ripe price of $60 (thanks to the wondrous Blizzard sale), it was time to visit the title screen. My finger twitched in anticipation - or was it fear for re-entering the fold? Ignoring my emotions and steeling myself, I watched as the launcher popped up and tore the retinas straight from my very eyes. Even the damn launcher was changed and, to top it all off, I could jump into the game before all the content was done downloading. I didn’t believe it. Yet in front of me lay indisputable evidence that my skepticism was misplaced. Plainly, I was impressed and I hadn’t even arrived at any aspect of the game. About a second after that a large, burning and very angry looking dragon stretched across my screen. I was in.

Character creation was always a problem for me. What the hell did I want to be? Maybe a healer? How about pure damage? No, a multi-class role would be nice for a change. What about tanking again? Gah! Being a former player, it was hard not to think about the end game before I even began. I did notice that many classes incapable of being selected on certain races were now open, much like my Priest. Blood Elves could now be Warriors, Undead could choose the Hunter, and Tauren could even take the role of Paladin. After a short debate with myself, I settled on the obvious choice: a Tauren Priest. And no, my in-game name is not Cowhealz.

Immediately upon entering the world I was greeted by narrative which had been adapted to incorporate the events that have transpired over the past six years. Mulgore, the starting zone for the Tauren, was no longer the same and Cairne (the big dude in charge of the place) was dead. Once this news hit me I realised that the only thing familiar about the place would be the friggin’ Plainstriders. Seriously, has anyone died to one of those things? I certainly haven’t. No sir.

Before anything I observed the new interface. When I first played Warcraft back in the day, the game’s interface did what it needed to do and nothing more. Any augmentations like AtlasLoot and QuestHelper were up to you to obtain to make questing bearable. Clearly, Blizzard has implemented these add-ons and several others that benefit the player hugely. I can now pull up my map with 'M' and see the areas where I’m supposed to be for a specific quest. Pulling up my spellbook, I was also pleased to see all the abilities my character will be able to learn instead of just a blank slate. Some people I know still use add-ons like X-Perl, but this interface is so clean and crisp and I’m certainly not going to need any addons.

Grassy and hilly as ever, Mulgore retains much of its previous aesthetic. However, I don’t think there’s one quest that’s the same. Warcraft veterans and Tauren connoisseurs should remember the annoying Quillboar areas from the old world. I hated those areas, but since they’ve been vapourized I was able to focus on the new material without feeling lethargic one bit. After completing just a handful of quests I was strangely brimming with energy. I was having fun, and in a starter zone too! Verdict: new quests are a lot more fun, about three times as fast, and considerate. Hell, I was flown to Bloodhoof Village. Flown! Back in my day, Blizzard made us walk ten miles through a hostile environment, uphill, in the blazing sun.


It’s still early on, but one of my hopes for the expansion was to make Thunder Bluff relevant again. In 'old' Warcraft, Thunder Bluff was a ghost town. There was no reason to ever go there, and it was a real shame. Thunder Bluff easily held some of the best visuals of all the major cities and, as far as I can tell, the only real change in this new version of Warcraft is the city's positioning. Blizzard has moved it a bit west and put elevators on all sides, which is nice. Cairne’s son, Baine Bloodhoof, runs the joint now and gives you some pretty badass quests to complete.

That’s another thing I should visit here; the quests themselves. While being thoroughly changed with drop-rates increased and such, they’re much more dynamic. Sometimes you’ll see allied NPCs duking it out in a burning village and other times you’ll bear witness to Blizzard’s phasing technology. If you’re unfamiliar with 'phasing', it adds a whole new layer to the game. Upon completing a quest or accomplishing a certain task, you might see the world around you change. It’s great to see new effects in these rejuvenated zones and there are even some quests that put you in a vehicle or weapon right in the beginning.

It wasn’t long before I hit level ten and was shown I could now utilise my talent tree. Back in my day, talents were something that were no small feat. What you picked stuck with you for a long, long time and were detrimental to instances if you chose the wrong combination. Blizzard now requires you choose a tree to progress down and you cannot deter from it. I can see some people getting angry about it, but really it makes things more simple, less confusing, and much more organised. Besides, from what I hear you can dual-specialise in another tree and switch to it on-the-fly. More on that when I get to experience it.

Final Thoughts:

I’m loving the new quests, the new cleaned up interface, and the environments. This experience has rejuvenated my interest in the game and progressing from here, by the looks of things, won’t be an issue whatsoever.


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Labels: Activision Blizzard, Adventures in Cataclysm, Andrew Whipple III, Cataclysm, PC, World of Warcraft, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm